Next week, Cyndy’s and my family will be taking care of an important element of life: saying “goodbye” to a loved one. We humans need closure, and we need to properly and ritually say “goodbye” to someone we love who has died.

Three years ago, Cyndy’s brother, Don Brainerd, died of cancer in Florida. His children live all over the country and it has been difficult to get everyone together for the interment of Don’s ashes, but it is finally happening.

Some might be tempted to say, “Why?” “After three years, what does it matter?”

It matters a lot! Because until the final “Amen” of a funeral/memorial service, there is just something missing. A service is for those who are left behind, not for the one who died! I have been so frustrated over the years when a person instructs their family to NOT hold a funeral for them. And, in fact, I have often counseled families to go ahead and have a service, even against their departed loved one’s wishes. Why? Because the service is NOT for the departed; it is for those who are left behind, and it should be left to them to decide whether or not to hold a service. To deny them the opportunity to properly say “goodbye” is cruel, and rather self-centered. Better to let them decide.

We will say “goodbye” to Don. His life was filled with music, both as a performer, a director, and a composer. He served as a choir director, a teacher, a performer and a play director for many years. He served in the Army and he had three children. His (and Cyndy’s) mother will be 92 this year, and she needs to say “goodbye”. It is important. It is sad. But it is good and necessary.

Will you pray for our family?

And if your family struggles with similar situations, feel free to talk with me. I’m happy to share my 42 years of ministry experience with you and your family!

In Peace,